How to know if you’re a Motherlucker

June 14, 2016

We don’t shy away from the shit stains on our shirts, we Instagram them.

We think postpartum, breastfeeding struggles, and the inevitable redefinition of self that comes with new motherhood needs community and support, not hushed tones or quiet looks.

We don’t care how you feed your baby; breast, bottle, or both. As long as they’re fed.

We think raising kind, curious, generous, resilient kids is something that takes work, like, a lot of it… and we want a sisterhood to do it with.

We think there’s more than one way to parent, and we want to know all our options before we choose what’s right for our kiddos and family.

We’re ok with getting it wrong sometimes, as long as we try our best and get it right where it counts.

We think your relationship needs as much effort as your parenting. Ok, maybe not as much.. but don’t forget about your partner, k?

We don’t all glow when we’re pregnant, some of us just sweat and hurt, and eat.ml_plane

We think it’s not only ok, but really important to still have your own interests and life.

We support and encourage each other, judging is for the Olympics (and assholes).

We think if someone gives you unsolicited parenting advice/judgment, you get to punch them in the face and walk away.

We think that every momma has her journey, and they don’t all have to be the same. Or even similar.

We think having a sense of humor about the ridiculous, gross shit our kids do is not only awesome but necessary.


Motherlucker Parenting Pregnancy Second baby

It’s A Boy!

November 16, 2017

The medical imaging specialist spilled the beans. Minutes later she sheepishly informed me to wait for confirmation from my physician. She was young, new to the job and in violation of company policy. Though I assured her the secret was safe with me, I didn’t require extra verification. I knew it was a boy. Call it mother’s intuition; I had known it in my heart even before I heard the beating of his.

Nevertheless, Dr. Mirren gave the word a week later and it became official.  I was thrilled. Having already been blessed with a magical little girl, a little boy would make a wonderful (and final) addition to our family. 

We drove home with joyful hearts, my tiny brood and I. For the first time we were able to voice specific hopes and dreams for our little boy. What he would be like, would he inherit his father’s athleticism, logic and Caesar-esq nose, my love for learning and strong will? Even Noé participated with a promise of “Share toys baby, mummy!” I will remind her of this statement in the future when the inevitable sharing squabbles erupt. For now, our joy was palpable.

Later that night as I succumbed to insomnia (one of the joys of my pregnancy), my baby boy saturated mind turned to dark thoughts. We’re having a boy. We are about to bring a little boy, a little Danejewrican (Danish-Jewish-Nigerian-American), who will be half black, into this world.

A world that prejudges and often dismisses or condemns people based on the color of their skin. A world in which he will be required for his own safety, to be wary of even those who have taken oaths to protect him. A world where mothers (and fathers) bury their sons and daughters, fallen prey to senseless hate and injustice.

And in that moment my jubilation turned to dust and I wished that my little boy could stay right where he is, in the relative safety of my womb. The chaos would continue, but thankfully truth creeps in and forcibly tears me from the fear spiral to remind me.

It reminds me that the only one who truly decides who our little boy will be and what his life will be like is his Creator. It reminds me that as his parents and his tribe, we will get to surround and instill in him the right values, to cloth him in love and arm him with wisdom. I am reminded that I can either place my faith in opinions and actions fueled by ignorance and hatred, or I can fix it on the Creator who paid a great price to secure my son’s immeasurable worth. I choose the latter.

Now returned to my calmer self, I do not forget that though I am grateful for my new resolve, it does not alter the reality that there remain inequalities and injustices to rectify (both those that directly affect us and otherwise).  And that we are part of the fight; we are part of the solution.

Baby boy you have a role to play and I wait, not with a faint heart, but with hope and breathless anticipation to welcome you and watch you make your mark.

Second baby

Surrender vs. Strength

It’s 5:00 a.m. and I’ve already been up three times since 9:30 p.m. I’ve basically had one continuous day of segmented sleep for 4 months straight and I’ve found there are only two options on this road of insanity: Surrender or Strength.   I’ve…

November 14, 2017

Baby Baggage

Our first official holiday as a family of three was to Hawaii for 7 days to visit my uncles. Little did we know, baby baggage in every sense of the word, was already throwing us for a loop and we hadn’t even left yet.…

November 9, 2017
Mom Stuff Motherlucker

Being Ok With The Now

I was picking Sebastian up from school and ran into a beloved history teacher. He has taught for nearly 50 years and reminds me of Robin William’s character in Dead Poets society. He is wise and weathered and very much to the point. I…

November 6, 2017
Motherlucker Parenting

A Way With Words

“Honey? Hun? Hun?” I was being summoned. Pretty typical for a Saturday morning, only it wasn’t coming from its usual source. My three year old, Levi, had picked up on what my husband and I call each other and had claimed it for himself.…

November 2, 2017
Mom Stuff Motherlucker Parenting

Preschool & Pacifiers

I didn’t think she was ready. She only just turned two, after all. My husband begged to differ. She’s smart, curious and in need of more social interaction, he argued. I saw his point, and even though I still felt another year at home…

October 31, 2017
Motherlucker Second baby

Two and Through

My youngest child is about to turn three, why do I suddenly want to have another baby? My husband and I decided that we were done after two. We put a lot of thought into this decision. We started our family a little later…

October 26, 2017
Second baby

The Hand Me Down Life

It’s the curse of the second kid isn’t it? They get the shaft in so many ways … attention, gifts, public fanfare, photos. I can’t say I felt guilty about any of it to be honest. I mean, I kind of looked at it…

October 24, 2017
Mom Stuff Motherlucker

Plans For New Plans

Sometimes, life doesn’t turn out the way you expect it to. A stay at home mom was not on my vision board and it’s certainly not on my resume. Not that there is anything wrong with that. If there is one thing I’ve learned…

October 17, 2017

Adventures in Potty Training

Last month we launched The Motherlucking Truth so we could share, drink and laugh at the good, the bad and the messiest of parenting experiences. Turns out nothing says messy like potty training and we want to hear about your experience with it Motherluckers! Tell us…

October 11, 2017