I’ve watched enough movies to know what new motherhood is like. You’re exhausted, unshowered and disheveled; but you’re so in love and the happiest you’ve ever been. Or so I was told. Those things are all true, you’ve never known exhaustion like this, showering becomes a luxury and you pride yourself on knowing the month not the day. You find a whole new freaking zipcode in your heart and learn to live with your heart outside your body. BUT there’s more to the story for some of us. I for one struggled with balance, friendships and self-definition.
Friendships fell apart as both parties struggled to reconcile the past with the present reality of me having a child. Friends called less and when they did it was at 10pm to go to a bar. Luckily the important ones stayed and some really special ones came into my life. But the transition was rough, I was really lonely.
Redefining my sense of self was what took the longest. I (unknowingly) defined and validated myself by my work. I felt valuable and that was really important to me and how I saw myself. Then I had JJ and my mind was suddenly elsewhere. I spent my brain energy on learning how to be a mother, what the hell swaddling was and why burping was so important. It took me a while to be ok with the fact that I was going to spend this time incubating a great human instead of a great company, and to see and respect just how important that decision was for me.
We all have our paths with parenthood, and as long as we’re happy and proud of that path our kids are off to a great start.