Pregnancy

No One Tells You: Mixed Emotions On Being Pregnant

August 2, 2016
mixedfeelings

Finding out that you’re pregnant is emotional; now, that’s not saying what emotion that is! Whether the pregnancy was one you worked for, wanted, or a super surprise, there are still a whole bunch of things you’re going to feel. Some feelings you’re proud of, some you’re not. And that’s ok!

We really wanted all of our pregnancies, but that didn’t stop me from feeling some things that I’m not super excited to share. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted (and want!) our little loves more than anything in the whole wide world. But it’s still scary!

I for one felt trapped and resentful on occasion. I knew our lives were about to change forever, but mine changed the second I got pregnant. Scott’s didn’t change until JJ was born. From the day we found out I was pregnant I was tired, nauseated, sore, and generally uncomfortable. It was a lot harder to be fun and carefree and go on epic, last-minute adventures (even if they were just to get frozen yogurt!). No one else’s life around me changed, just mine- and that was hard at times.

I also felt scared as shit. How the hell did I know what to do with a baby?? I had held a baby for an hour, if that, cumulatively in my entire life before JJ. I was definitely not the “baby whispering” type pre-kids! I was worried that I was so unprepared. I was scared, plain and simple.

I also felt guilty for feeling these things. This was something I had wanted, so badly, that so many of my friends were still working for- and I felt like an ungrateful brat any time these feelings arose. What I know now is that these feelings are totally fucking normal and they’re part of your brain’s way of processing the huge change that’s coming. It’s ok to feel whatever the hell you’re feeling about your pregnancy, because we all know that underlying any of these feelings are pure joy, gratitude and excitement.

So Motherluckers, it’s not only ok but totally normal to feel a little worried, scared, resentful, confused or whatever else you’re feeling when you get knocked up. It doesn’t mean that you’re not going to be an epic parent- it means that you’re in touch enough to realize a big change (a big awesome change) is coming- and you can process that however you need to.

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1 Comment

  • Reply Jordan December 30, 2016 at 4:55 pm

    I really needed to read this! I’m terrified of birth, my body changing, and being the only one who is having to change their life until August. My husband doesn’t totally understand but that’s because it isn’t physically happening to him. I feel bad for feeling all of these things but the more I read things like this I feel a little better.

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