I have a confession to make- I like to do it all. I find value and pride in being self-sufficient, capable and able to figure my shit out. And that’s ok. The problem comes when I practically kill myself to prove to some imaginary panel that I am a good wife, mother and human. Who the hell am I trying to impress?
I am stupid and stubborn on a weekly (if not daily) basis when I insist that I can in fact still do it all, with an 18 month old, work, and growing baby in my belly who kicks me hourly.
And I was super stupid last week when I ignored contractions and cramps. I excused it away as pregnancy symptoms and round ligament pain; because I had meetings, a doctors appt for JJ and lots of chasing and snuggling to be done. This resulted in a super fun hospital visit and subsequent modified bed rest order (whatever the hell that means).
Why share this? Because it really got me thinking; why does asking for help and having to accept a lot of it right now make me feel so uncomfortable?
I think it’s because society has told us to believe that women can and should do it all. The birds chirping, breastfeeding under waterfalls, and cooking a four-course meal with a baby on your hip type of shit. The things that make you feel like you’re never quite doing enough, like you’re never quite good enough. Well sisters, eff that.
I for one think growing a child (just think about that for a minute), raising them with minimal (or at least amusing) cause for concern and keeping a relationship with your partner thriving is a full out, motherlucking success!
Can we find ways to remind each other that we’re doing a really hard job and we’re slaying it? There is no shame in asking for help, taking a break, or putting your own needs first occasionally.
There is no badge of honor for neglecting your own needs. Only therapy.