Why is it that there is always something new to feel guilty about as a mom? Whether it’s that you’re not doing enough or that you’re doing too much- momma guilt is always lurking. And yes, I totally have guilt that I’m spending too much time with my children sometimes (Iike, am I making them those weird super attached kids? Will they secretly resent me for forcing them to take me to prom?)
Lately my guilt has been centred around balance. I’m struggling to find balance with two kiddos. I know this is totally normal, but it’s eating me up! I want to make sure JJ feels loved and seen and that his sweet little world isn’t totally rocked by his new brother’s arrival (which I can actually say I think we’ve done a really good job with). On the flip side, I have major momma guilt that I’m not spending enough time with Levi!
When JJ was Levi’s age we were inseparable. For better or worse, that kiddo was strapped to my chest at all times. Honestly it was because I had no other choice, but I actually loved wearing him and getting to look into his perfect beautiful face all day. With Levi, sometimes I forget which room I left him in (ok, that’s an exaggeration, chill the eff out). But I really do get so much less of that quiet new baby cocoon time, and it makes me sad.
I’m gonna be real here, I exclusively breastfeed and do all of his baths. So basically the longest I’m ever apart (or not touching him) is for 2 hours, but that feels like forever. When I say it out loud I realize that I sound a little psycho/helicopter mom, but I can’t help but feel like Levi is getting less of me than Jagger did. And that hurts my soul.
I don’t have a nice bow to wrap this piece up, it’s a work in progress and something that legitimately keeps me up at night. I know the rational facts but can’t help feeling guilty and sad about this. Any words of advice or tips?