Looking through the photos from our daughter’s first birthday party, I noticed something was missing.
It was me.
Out of the stacks of photos we had, I only appeared in one. I look tired, I have a fake smile and my eyes appear to be suggesting that there’s something else on my brain.
The truth is, my mind was elsewhere. I was thinking about bringing dessert out. I was thinking about why the birthday banner was slightly crooked. I was also thinking about how tired I was from the late night crafting session the night before because I just HAD to get the sprinkle decorations right.
I even had the sprinkles on the cake match perfectly to the illustrated ones on the invite. Did anyone notice? No. No one gave a shit about the sprinkles and I’m pretty sure my daughter had no idea what the hell was going on.
It wasn’t until weeks after the party and seeing the photos that I realized, I may have been at the party but I certainly wasn’t present in the moment. I let my obsession over perfecting the tiniest details take over and I didn’t stop to think about how much of a beautiful milestone this was for our family.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting the best for our children and doing what we can to make life special. But sometimes when our desire to create perfection takes us away from what the moment is truly about, we lose that connection and we’re left with feeling “meh”.
I now make more of an effort to step back, let go and really be in the moment. I’ve learned that those are the times in life that I truly remember and they are the memories that will make my heart smile forever.