Let’s be real and let’s be very, very honest: If this article had been written in the 1950’s, there would have been a backlash of stay-at-home mom’s criticizing me. “How could you say working full time makes you a better mom”? Or, “How could you let another person raise your child?” O-U-C-H.
Insert a little #momguilt riiiight here. Trust me, I feel it. Every. Single. Day.
But, here’s a truth bomb: I wouldn’t have it any other way. The haters will hate, the critics will always criticize and have an opinion different than mine. The truth of the matter is, I need that balance in my life. And yes, it is a fact that I am far more patient, involved and engaged as a mom because I work full time.
Let’s not forget that I had my child at the ripe age of 39…almost 20 years into a career I spent that long building.
What I feared the most when I became a mom for the first time, was fitting into this mold. You stay home, be a mom, experience all the experiences, take your time, go to mommy-and-me classes and don’t worry about that thing called a job. That can wait.
I did and I still do because now when I’m with my child, I am really with my child. 100% and I enjoy every second of it. In fact, I am more engaged and present in the moment because I am fulfilled in other areas of my life. I have also come to realize through this transition (and slight identity crisis) that I am a product of my own mother. What I have always admired and respected was that she was never fulfilled in the role of just being a mom. She wanted to carve her own path, make her own money, get out of the house, doing what she loved doing – being a nurse. My father always supported and encouraged that because my mother working was a life insurance policy. If anything ever happened to him, he knew my mother could work and support the family. Who can argue with that?
But I get it. My ideal situation isn’t for everyone. I will be the first to say, raising children full time is the hardest, most exhausting, selfless and underpaid job EVER. Every day you feel underappreciated because you aren’t getting the accolades you may be used to for basically keeping your child safe and alive. I know because I was there. I wasn’t working when I first had my son and the first three months were a huge transition for me, as any new mother would agree with. It can be very isolating and there wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t ask myself the question, “what happened to my previous life and will I ever get it back?”
Here’s what I know for sure: I finally have my balance back and I have found peace with my family and myself. I’m doing work that I truly love, separate from my family life and I know my child is being well taken care of when I’m not there. It’s the one piece of advice I would give any new mom: do just that, however that looks to you. Working outside of the home or not, it’s important to be at peace with yourself because it reflects in every other area of your life.
Amen. Hallelujah, and here’s to being the best motherlucking boss of your own life ladies.