Social media is shitty for one reason: I just find myself thinking, “Why do they get to have that life? I want that! I deserve that!” And the second I said those words outlaid to a friend, I knew something needed to change. While I believe jealousy can initially be used for inspiration or motivation to get off your ass and do something remarkable, I think it quickly spirals into something more toxic when we aren’t sure of who we are or confident in the decisions we’re making.
Add the motherhood comparison game onto that and holy.shit. We’ve got a ticking time bomb on our hands.
Here’s how I’ve managed to get out of the New Year’s resolution pressure and the jealousy death spiral:
- JUST START SOMEWHERE. Setting goals for your life isn’t reserved for the new year. You can start whenever you’re ready. March, July, September … who cares? JUST START.
- Define a theme. Some people call this the ‘word of the year,’ I just pick an overarching theme for the year. You know, one big goal that I’ll focus around in all areas of my life. One year, I chose “chart new territory” as a theme. My goals under that theme ranged anywhere from dabbling into new industries for my business to trying new restaurants as a family. This year, I chose, “simplify” as my theme. This gives me a base for how I want to focus the goals I make for the remainder of 2017.
- Quarterly system. I tackle goals in 3-month increments. As you get new information, you can shift the direction or plan without throwing the whole year down the drain. I also break each quarter up into a sub theme. For instance, if Simplify is my word for 2017, the first 3 months are all about “clearing clutter.” All of my goals for January – March center around getting rid of physical and mental clutter.
- Reflection is key. At the end of every quarter, I ask myself questions that help me assess progress and make any changes before heading into another 3-month period. These aren’t crazy questions. Just things like: What worked? What didn’t? Were there goals I failed to achieve? Why?
- Accountability. This one is huge for me. I have a good friend who I meet with once a week to discuss progress. Sounds excessive but we make it fun and ass-kicking at the same time. We don’t always meet up in person, but when we do, we make an excursion out of it (hello cocktails, coffee, carbs, etc). Find someone you trust to give it to you straight!
I hope you all find a way to make the most of 2017 from where you are. It doesn’t take much to make a dent in this world of ours, even if some days it feels much harder than others. Be persistent, be intentional and for the love of God, just start!!