Advice Relationships

From one Motherlucker to another

February 13, 2017

Hey new momma!

I see you over there with those tired eyes, spit up on your clothes and unwashed hair for days.  You haven’t slept.  Your body aches from fatigue.  So much in your life has abruptly changed: Your body, your mental status, your relationship with your partner, your relationships with friends, your freedom.  It feels as though your world is upside-down.  You are questioning every single decision you make.  You are the happiest you have ever been, yet you cry about everything.  You are breastfeeding or exclusively pumping or formula feeding…. all of which come with their own unique struggles (so others should keep their asshole opinions to themselves)!  You are learning and adjusting and adapting.  It is a total shit show in the beginning (literally!!).  Be gentle with yourself.  You are doing your best…and you are doing great!  It DOES get easier.  I promise!

It took nine whole months to grow that baby, it will take time to get into a routine and find your comfort zone.  You WILL find your new normal.  Motherhood is not for the faint of heart.  It’s full of struggles and tears and mistakes and a whole lot of badassery.  And an intense amount of love!  I survived those early days/weeks/months… and you surely will too.  Don’t compare your situation to others.  Don’t compare what you are doing as a mom to what other moms are doing.  Don’t compare your baby to other babies.  Lower your expectations, take it one day at a time, and cut yourself some slack.

The days are long.  It feels as though the nights will never end, and you are the only person awake in the world.  You feel lonely and isolated.  You love your baby with every fiber of your being, but it’s still fucking hard!  Here are a few loving reminders to get you through the tough days:

Feed that baby however you need to!  Get out for a walk.  Call a friend.  Don’t be afraid to lay him or her in a safe place and walk away if you feel like you are at a breaking point.  Trust your pediatrician (And, if you don’t, find a new one that you absolutely love!).  Treat yourself to a glass of wine, you absolutely deserve it.  Find your tribe to get you through the difficult times.  You are doing everything right for you and your baby!  You are an incredible mommy!

And know that you are not alone…. ever!  So many other women are going through what you are going through or have been there before.  You don’t have to be perfect.  You aren’t always going to know what you are doing (I still don’t).  You will not have all the answers.  You will second guess yourself so many times.  But, mother’s intuition is the REAL DEAL!  Always trust your gut and always believe in yourself.  You know a lot more than you think you do.  And you are the one that knows your baby best!  Love them, enjoy them, savor them.  Everything else will gradually fall into place. xo

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