Mom Advice Pregnancy Second baby

Labor Take 2

January 3, 2017
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So the good news is that labor the second time around was definitely easier. Finally something about pregnancy that people didn’t lie about! (Glowing for 9 months my ass..)

I had a radically different labor experience this time. I think it’s because I was more prepared with the right questions to ask, and felt more empowered to say no to what didn’t feel right. As a result (or just dumb luck, who knows) my active labor was under 8 minutes this time! I have no idea if it’s actually because of the things I did differently, but I like to think it is.

So what did I do differently?ml_labortake2_inpost

  1. I listened to my body, not always my Doctor (Within reason, obvi)
  2. I got help/guidance from more ‘alternative’ perspectives
  3. I said no when it didn’t feel right (and wasn’t dangerous)
  4. I calmed the eff down. Knowing that I was in pain, not danger, was a radical shift in perspective for me and I think the one that had the largest impact. (Thanks to Dr Elliot Berlin for teaching me this one.)
  5. I knew what was coming. Ok, so technically this wasn’t something I did but rather a perk of having done it before, but knowing what was going to happen or what was happening took a lot of the fear and anxiety out of it for me.

Things I wish I could have told my first-time-labor self:

  1. You’re safe. This is one of the most natural things your body can do. You are in pain, not danger.
  2. Every contraction is one less you ever have to have again.
  3. Every contraction brings you one step closer to meeting your new little love.
  4. Relax into the pain (easier said than done) but when you tense and fight it, it hurts so much more.
  5. Listen to your body and say no to what doesn’t feel right. (Again, within safe and reasonable limits)
  6. Enjoy early labor, it’s the good part!

Almost 3 weeks later I can now actually look back on this labor with love and respect for what my body can do. I don’t have the same “Never am I fucking doing that again” mentality that I did for a good 6 months after JJ was born.

How did everyone else’s second labor/birth compare to the first?

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5 Comments

  • Reply Marci January 3, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    I was a week or two behind you. I felt the same exact way! I would do it again if I wasn’t already 41.

  • Reply Erick January 4, 2017 at 9:28 am

    Hi Yael,

    My 2nd daughter is now 5 months. How time flies. Being at the hospital with my wife for our 2nd baby seems like it was just yesterday. Just wanted to add that having 2 kids (my first is 10 years old) is not bad as it seems. It takes a lot of training physically and mentally. My first child never peed on her bed, not even once. She never gave us “problems” except when she was teething (we didn’t sleep for an entire week).

    Lastly, to all couples out there, i would recommend to try for 2nd baby after 1 year or 2. Do not wait. Pregnancy is no joke. We had 5 miscarriages before our 2nd baby.

  • Reply Kelsea January 6, 2017 at 7:54 am

    Any book suggestions or techniques? I’m due with my first (it’s a boy!) mid March 💙

  • Reply Lyla January 8, 2017 at 2:55 pm

    Thanks for sharing. It’s very encouraging to hear your honest and real experiences! I’m having my second baby in April (my first was pretty fast and I was not ready)
    It’s safe to say I was scared as hell to have another one but having already gone through it, I’m hoping it goes smoother this time around.
    Enjoy this precious time as a family and thanks again for being real!

  • Reply Larissa March 24, 2017 at 4:18 am

    Hey Yael, thank you for your post and this website. It’s great to have a resource that’s honest and hip, without the stuffiness and complicated jargon. I am expecting my first little baby in July, and the one thing I am the most anxious about is the actual delivery. Would you mind elaborating on the bullet points you laid out in your article? I’d love specific examples of the listed things you did differently (ex. “alternatives”, and listening to your body). Thanks so much!!

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