I love my friends. I love the history and camaraderie we have, and the love and support we give each other. They are the constants in my life who I adore to the moon and back. I fondly remember a time before children and spouses, when we would gather over Sunday brunch and mimosas and talk about work, dating, life, and travel mixed with the occasional bitch session of how lacklustre the dating scene was in Vancouver.
Then enter motherhood: all of a sudden you go from those carefree conversations to ones solely focused on breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, Ergobaby’s vs. Baby Bjorn’s, pregnancy cravings, and toddler meltdowns. Life can change in an instant, and boy, so did the conversations around the Sunday brunch table. Whether I liked it or not.
I realized pretty quickly that once my friends became mothers, it was always the focus of most conversations. You know, that perpetual kid talk. And after about 20 minutes or so, I would zone out.
Case in point: almost 5 years ago, when I was still single and dating, it was 60 minutes into listening to the motherload (pun intended) of all conversations. There was a lull in the conversation, so I perked up and started talking about my work & what was going on in my life. The reaction? A collective “ohhhh”. Then it was back to baby talk faster than I could say Bob’s your uncle.
I thought for sure this would be an obvious hint, but apparently not. “Hello! Can you hear me? My life is still important and you DON’T want to see a 30-something have a meltdown, do you?!”.
I’m not sure if I’m just missing that baby-talking gene or if I would just rather not let it consume me, but at some point during most of these moments, I’m planning my escape route, ready to flee the scene quickly like Liev Schreiber in an episode of Ray Donovan.
Don’t get me wrong, I get why they talk about this stuff (and I’ve been known to participate as well). I realize most moms become completely consumed by their kids’ lives once they enter this phase in life. Then there are the women who would rather not talk about kids and parenthood because they’re genuinely interested in talking about other things (and for that, I thank you on behalf of all women who side with me here – single or not).
Now that I’m about to embark into motherhood, of course I turn to my friends for words of wisdom because they’re chock-full of advice. GREAT advice! But, sometimes I get more than I bargained (or asked) for because I still crave that balance. You know, those discussions that equally revolve around all the great stuff in our lives: love, work, life, travel and yes, parenthood. They all deserve their 15 minutes of fame, don’t cha think?
I identify with who I am as a business woman, and whether or not that will change when Baby Holscher comes onto the scene remains to be seen; but at the end of the day I’m my mother’s daughter and we love our work, we love the freedom it provides, the joy and balance it gives us and the moolah it pays! I just cannot see myself ever giving that up…
So just a word of advice to those mommas (and I’ll try to do the same when my time comes): keep the kid talk to a minimum, no matter who you’re around.
Just say no to Mommyjacking. And if I ever become one of those women, someone smack me.