So with Baby Braun #2 on the way (like any minute now) my sweet sweet first born has decided that I’m no longer the bees knees. This is a nice way of saying he’s just not that into me.
My mom came to help me out before Numero Dos arrives, and JJ decided that she is just a better version of me.
Things he loves more about her:
- She has no baby bump in the way when they cuddle.
- She can carry him any and everywhere.
- She isn’t about to have a new baby.
- She is much more comfortable to ‘chill’ on.
- She waits on him hand and foot.
- She lets him get away with murder.
OK so maybe she doesn’t do all those things. Thankfully my mom is actually basically a better version of me, it’s true! She follows (my sometimes incredibly specific) guidelines for JJ. She fights every grandparent urge in her body and doesn’t spoil him at the expense of all we’ve worked for (hello eating at the table, napping by yourself, and not getting everything when you want it). But somehow he still loves her more this week.
And I’m not going to lie, it’s killing me. I obviously love that my baby feels so happy and safe with other people, I’m not a monster. But I selfishly wanted him to just cuddle our last week alone together away- with me! I know that this is the perfect storm of the impending Terrible Twos and new baby’s arrival. I know he’s testing limits and learning to assert himself- which are great things. I just wasn’t quite ready for it!
I’m sure next week we will be back to cuddle buddies and I’ll have forgotten what playing second fiddle feels like, but for now it’s definitely not my favorite feeling. Is this what it’s like to be a dad?
UPDATE: I wrote this days before Levi arrived, and obviously the universe has a sick sense of humor because as soon as the words hit paper (or screen, whatever) my little boy decided I wasn’t all that bad and that he did indeed still love and need me. As soon as Levi arrived he decided that he actually wants me all the time and that he too wants to be carried like a baby. Careful what you wish for!