So I’m gonna let you in on a little secret… My friends call me “slow to warm”, meaning I’m not all about new friends, and I take time to let people in. But once you’re in, I love you fiercely and forever. So having children left me in quite the predicament; it meant I had to make some new friends. Uggh.
I don’t need to preach to the choir about why mom friends and a Mommy Tribe are so effing essential (More necessary than my hubby some days! Joking. Kind of.) but I hadn’t had to make friends since 6th grade and it made me sweat more than OJ on trial.
Luckily I didn’t have to “mom date” too long before finding my soul sisters. Sow how did I come to meet Haeran, Laurel and Radhika, aka my Mommy Tribe?
Haeran and Laurel:
On the first week of baby group I barely said a word, it was the first time I had left the house alone with JJ and I was basically just thrilled to see other humans. I fumbled my way through nursing, burping and changing him in class and prayed no one saw the spit up in my hair or milk stains on my bra. Luckily no no one did, probably because they were staring at my dress which I tucked into my underwear by mistake. I was really winning at life that day. By the second week I was a little more presentable. I strolled in with my baby k’tan and non maternity jeans and felt like fire. I still said next to nothing in class. But afterwards, Haeran (who bounced into class like the cheerleader she once was, and somehow knew everyone by name) came up to me and asked me if I wanted to hike with the babies. I blurted out a quick yes and quietly thanked my non maternity jeans for getting me asked out! The girl next to us (Laurel) leaned over and asked if she could join, I instantly loved her quiet confidence and the fact that her child appeared to be in pajamas too. We hiked that week, and every week for a long time. And slowly we shared pieces of our old lives, new lives and ever-changing lives together. And occasionally we drank, that was bomb, too. Sidenote: it later came out that Haeran only asked me because she thought I was the fittest looking girl in class!
Truth- I did not want to meet Radhi, in fact I tried to cancel minutes before they arrived at our house. Scott and Radhi’s husband went to college together and decided that since we both had babies within a few months that we should all hang out. JJ was weeks old and I didn’t want visitors. Or new friends. I met them and their adorable little boy (who is three months older than JJ and looked like a toddler to me at the time) and tried my best to not like them. Turns out Radhi is what my friendship dreams are made of and one of the best moms I know. We instantly decided to keep each other and I’m pretty thrilled about it.
I’ve met some amazing mom friends in some pretty unlikely places (in line at a bagel shop, at the fertility clinic, and once at a fashion show) so while I still don’t want new friends (I’m mostly joking) I’m pretty glad I keep getting amazing ones to share the insane, ridiculous, hard, funny and sometimes lonely days of new motherhood with.