Browsing Tag

new moms

Blended Family Mom Stuff

Happy You’re A Motherlucking Champ Every Day

May 12, 2017

Take a look at any stepmom/divorce blog or follow a blended family hashtag on social media and you’ll see there’s generally a big topic of discussion around this time of year.

Mother’s Day.

Whether we like to admit it or not, Stepmoms and Moms generally get pinned against each other. And on this day in particular there’s often an epic “this is my day/I deserve to be honored too” argument that gets played over and over again as the years pass.

Personally, I don’t care about Mother’s Day, both as a Mom and as a Stepmom.

And it’s not an “I don’t care but I still expect you to go all out” it’s an actual, I have zero expectations for the day.

Now, I didn’t always feel like this. I’ve been on many sides of this debate. On some Mother’s Days in the past as solely a Stepmom I would feel left out. My first Mother’s Day as a Mom I told my husband I had high expectations – and yes, he delivered. The Mother’s Day following the death of my Mum, I didn’t acknowledge it at all. In fact, it coincided with World Ovarian Cancer day and I decided to honor that day instead.

So how did I get here? How did I get to a point of zero expectations for the one day in the year when mothers all over the world are celebrated for their hard work?


Yes. Gratitude.

Let me explain. Since becoming a Stepmom, and subsequently a Mom, I’ve learned a lot about the unrealistic expectations I put on myself to be the perfect Mom or Stepmom, and the expectations I put on others to validate my hard work. It became clear to me that my need to be thanked outweighed my ability to stop and be grateful for all of the blessings in my life.

That’s when my husband and I started teaching our kids about the importance of expressing gratitude for the people in our lives – no matter what day it is. Maybe it’s because my husband I both lost our Mums and we know the pain of regret of not acknowledging the ones we love enough. Or maybe, it’s because raising tiny humans not to be dickheads is fucking hard work. And every day we should be celebrating the little victories and the many people who work tiresomely to support our kids.

Now, after writing all that, does that mean I think I’m a better person than all of you that love Mother’s Day or Stepmother’s day? Abso-fucking-lutely not. One of the best things I love about being a Motherlucker is the “you do you” philosophy that’s present in the many voices that write for this website. We all do what’s best for us, best for our kids and best for our families.

And just because I personally don’t care about Mother’s Day, doesn’t mean we don’t acknowledge it for the people in our life that do. I still love to help my step kids with their Mother’s Day gifts for their mom. My husband loves to help our daughter do something small for me. We send flowers to my husband’s Stepmom, my Aunt and Grandmother and I love to give shoutouts and love to my Stepmom and Mom friends. It’s not because we have to, it’s because we want to.

I think what’s most important is that you need to stay true to yourself and honour your personal feelings on the day. So if you want your partner and kids to go BIG for the day, talk to them. Tell your partner you’d love to be spoiled, let them know your thoughts.

If you want to be alone. Be alone.

If you want to pretend that it’s not happening, pretend that it’s not happening.

If you want to be acknowledged by your stepkids, talk to your partner and have an open and honest conversation with them about it.

Whatever it is that you want for the day, go into the conversation with an empathetic heart and a willingness to understand where you, your partner and the kids are coming from.

But most importantly, always remember to stop and take pride in the work that you do –  because I and many others think that looking after tiny humans makes you a motherlucking champ.





Mom Stuff Motherlucker

The Post Baby Body – 6 weeks, My Ass

Snapping Back Isn’t Real When You Don’t Recognize Your Own Body. Three years ago, I decided to push myself physically for the first time. I trained and ran the LA Marathon and it was one of the most glorious experiences of my life. When…

April 3, 2017

My Story

Let’s begin with: I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. And I’m pretty sure any new parent who says they do is either full of it, delusional, or high. I wing it on a daily basis and pray for the best. That’s a…

March 30, 2017
Mom Stuff Motherlucker

What Makes You You?

Ever heard the saying “happy wife, happy life?” It comes off trite, but I believe there’s some truth to it.  In many cases mothers, working or stay-home, are very much the heart of the home (don’t freak out, I am a feminist!). And as…

March 30, 2017
Mom Advice Mom Stuff Motherlucker

Friends With Mom Benefits

Watching little kids make friends might just be the cutest and most heartbreaking thing in the world. Some are fearless, oblivious to the impending possibility of rejection. Others are tentative and shy, perhaps having been shunned before. Their intentions are rarely anything deeper than…

March 27, 2017
Mom Stuff Pregnancy Second baby

Who Run The World? Moms!

I’ll be honest. I used to think girls were just whiners. And while I think some definitely are, I think it’s important to note that I am now a strict advocate for the power that exists inside of every single woman on this planet:…

March 23, 2017
Mom Advice Mom Stuff Motherlucker

Ways To Make New Mom Friends

As a follow up to my last piece on how I found my Mommy Tribe, I’ve compiled a list of ways to find yours. Remember, it’s survival of the fittest, you gotta hit on the hottest mom in class first to make sure everyone…

March 21, 2017
Mom Advice Mom Stuff

Dear Friends and Family

So your daughter in-law, best friend, daughter, son and/or sister just had their first baby.  Congrats to them!  Here are a few things for you to remember as the one that you love braves motherhood/fatherhood and forming her/his own family. Offer help, but don’t…

March 16, 2017
Mom Stuff Motherlucker

The Balance Factor

Balance is something I pride myself on. Albeit, it’s not always successful, but I always give it the old college try. I’ve been known to effectively balance work, fitness, friends, family, cooking meals, having dinner parties, girl time, personal errands and so much more.…

March 6, 2017

What Kind of Mother Will I Be?

This question is one I’ve always asked myself. I always knew I’d make a great mother, but what kind of mom would I be? There’s always the type of mom we wish to be, but that always changes when one becomes a mother. Would…

February 16, 2017