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Mom Advice Motherlucker Parenting Second baby


January 31, 2017

I’ma be real here- I was a freaking mess when JJ was born. I had zero experience with babies (they’re so tiny and fragile and wiggly) and I had zero idea what the hell to do with him most of the time (Do you read to them day one? Do they want to play right away? Do they need water? The list goes on…). So naturally I felt overwhelmed and underprepared. This manifested in a super fun way.

How fun exactly? Well, I was so tightly wound that I once cried because I needed to pee and JJ was sleeping next to me (he was in a bassinette and almost certainly would have survived the 42 seconds alone). I woke him to bring him with me finally. Then cried because he wouldn’t go back to sleep. It was really a delightful few months for me.

I wouldn’t let anyone touch (nevermind actually help with) JJ. I thought it was my job and my job alone to somehow know what to do, how to do it, and to be able to do it alone. This obviously made me less than awesome to be around. It’s a miracle my husband didn’t leave me some days. (Granted, it’s a miracle I didn’t leave him some days, so it evens out!)

I didn’t enjoy anything except my baby for a long time. I found no joy in the things I used to, and I felt tired, distant and boring when hanging out with friends. I definitely had the baby blues. The shitty part is that I didn’t realize it at the time. I thought this was my new normal and that motherhood meant giving up such a big part of who I was, giving up enjoying things that were for me, giving up being young and fun.

How wrong I was. Now that my anxiety is under control (mostly because I know what I’m doing. Ok, that’s a lie; I don’t know, but I’m more confident in my decisions, and know that nothing is the end of the world- it can all be fixed), and I actively work on finding time for me and doing things that I enjoy – I’m a whole new person. And no, I’m not as fun as I once was. I can’t decide to hop on a plane last minute or party until the sun comes up; but I get to wake up to my children. I get to experience the world through their eyes, see awe in the ordinary and laugh at the benign. And I’ll take that over a hangover anyday. Correction: I’ll take that over a hangover most days 😉

Mom Advice Parenting Uncategorized

Life’s Little Lessons

Just yesterday, my son (in typical three-year-old boy fashion) started the morning by being a bit naughty. Levi, “I stated firmly, “please don’t do that.” With pride in his little eyes he said to me, “If I do it again… I get time out”.…

January 2, 2017
Mom Stuff Parenting

Are There Tree Nuts In That?

It all started on a sunny vacation in Florida. We were out for a walk when we decided to purchase a package of cashews as a light snack. My daughter who was one-and-a-half immediately started reaching for one. Her curiosity about the new food…

December 27, 2016
Mom Advice Parenting

Over Protective

One of my first memories is a hazy one. Not hazy as in “I barely remember,” more like hazy as in “the air was filled with cigarette smoke.” I couldn’t have been more than three and had somehow found my way up on to…

December 12, 2016
Mom Advice Parenting

Blended Families and The Holiday Season

“It’s the most wonderful of the year…” Oh, the holidays. The time of year when your stress meter spikes into “I’m going to lose my shit at any minute” level. It doesn’t have to be like that. There are actual ways to enjoy the…

December 5, 2016
Mom Advice Parenting

It’s OK to Make Mistakes

When we first decided to start a family, I was sure my husband and I would make the most epic parents.  Overconfident?  Maybe just a little.  I did, after all, have my BA in child development, worked as a nanny and felt completely confident…

November 24, 2016
Mom Advice Parenting

Mom Crush

When you were young and crushing hard, it was usually on the boy who lives down the street or your older cousin’s best friend. After you have kids, however, the term crush takes on a whole new meaning. Enter “mom crush”. You know… where…

November 14, 2016
Mom Advice Parenting

I Miss My Mom

There are literally no words or combinations of words I could use to properly convey how much I miss my Mum. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real and sometimes it’s so painful I struggle to catch my breath. When my Mum died I found myself…

November 10, 2016
Mom Advice Parenting

Just Say Congrats

My son Dylan was born on August 2009 with Down Syndrome. Before his birth we had no idea. Fast Forward to 48 hours post-delivery, and my ugly-crying had finally stopped. I went into mama bear mode. Seriously, I needed to get over myself. It…

October 28, 2016