Advice Mom Stuff Parenting

That Mom

January 5, 2017

I spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of mom I didn’t want to be. I observed, I judged, I made sweeping statements. Then I had a kid.

img_3768I’m already doing things I used to think were so dumb … like staying in my car for an hour while Gio finishes a nap. Or not leaving our house unless we have a sitter because I don’t want to jack with his bedtime routine. Or doing a “baby and me” yoga class at 11:00 am on a weekday (Two Hearts Yoga, by the way, is LEGIT).

There are a gazillion mommy camps that make people roll their eyes and say “oh she’s THAT mom.” And while I’m not sure which camp I fit into quite yet, I know now that we’re all that mom who just wants the best for her kids and is doing the best she can with what she has. In full disclosure, I believe we do what we are willing to tolerate. Why do some parents have to stick to strict schedules? I don’t know why others do, but I do it for my own sanity. I’ve thought I’d be more go-with-the-flow-who-gives-a-crap-about-naptime, but I’m not. I like having structure and a little predictability. Moms who are OK with more flexibility find that ridiculous. Why? Because what I’m willing to tolerate is differently than what they’re willing to tolerate. And that’s FINE. Do you hear me moms? We’re all just FINE!

For me, I’m at my best when I have designated spaces to focus only on Gio. There are plenty of moments when my time is split between work/life/momming. I have to be intentional about creating moments where it’s just me and him. For the first six months of his life, we would go to yoga once a week (you know, before he started getting all mobile and ruining any chances of me getting real exercise).  At the end of each yoga session, I would grab Gio and cuddle him as my act of rest. It was our “thing.” I had become that mom who loves her kid so much she doesn’t give a damn that she’s happy crying on her yoga mat. Now, we do dance parties in our living room or ride the carousel at the mall. It’s less relaxing but totally age-appropriate.

Culturally, we’ve made it acceptable to judge the mom who makes decisions for her family that make us uncomfortable. My goal is to better understand her decision so I can be more supportive. And that posture is so much easier when I’m confident in my own choices. If being a midday yoga mom is what it takes to for me to feel confident, less judgemental and more connected to my son, then I’m honored to have become “that mom.”

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