This question is one I’ve always asked myself. I always knew I’d make a great mother, but what kind of mom would I be? There’s always the type of mom we wish to be, but that always changes when one becomes a mother. Would I be:
A helicopter mom?
An overbearing mom?
A laid-back mom?
A tiger mom?
A lawnmower mom?
Dear god, the possibilities are endless, but I knew I would likely be a combination of all the above. Something of the Heinz 57 variety.
To start, I’m already the paranoid, nervous type, thinking the worst will happen and my mind always goes to the dark side, so to think it could get a lot worse when I became a mom would be putting it mildly. I’m fairly certain I get this from my mother (sorry mom) because to this day, she still frets and worries about my brother and I. Unconditional love at its best. Even when you’re (almost) 40 and 42, respectively.
On the flip side, I’m an overachiever, a business woman who is driven and successful, a great friend, funny, sarcastic, open-minded, outspoken (this sometimes gets me into trouble!), trustworthy and loyal. I’ve always worried that I would put this type of pressure on my kid(s) because I would expect the same of them. That if I could do it, so should they. Gulp.
But looking back on my childhood, I see that I was raised by tremendous parents. I could not have experienced a more loving environment to grow up in. My brother and I had it all – unconditional love, support, education, food, shelter, family vacations, and unlimited opportunities. The self-inflicted pressure to provide this for my own child is very much top of mind, because as with every generation, you always want to up the ante.
But like every child, you think your parents are superheroes with hearts of gold. You wonder how they managed to raise two good humans, through the good times, the bad and the hormonal. I often ask my parents what the most difficult time was raising us or what they wished they could have done better, or done more of. Were they the parents they thought they would be or not? As a new parent, I seek to know the answers to these questions so I too can learn and hopefully do just as well or even better.
What I do know for sure is that the foundation my parents laid has given me the reassurance that I will be the best mother to my child as I can humanly be. Making mistakes along the way, but learning regardless. Loving my child unconditionally, supporting his decisions, ambitions and choices in life, letting him know that whatever life he chooses to lead, he will lead it with great intention and purpose so long as he is happy and fulfilled.
Call me crazy, but I think that’s a good start.